{"id":6849,"date":"2009-10-30T20:50:52","date_gmt":"2009-10-31T03:50:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/?p=6849"},"modified":"2010-01-31T11:03:17","modified_gmt":"2010-01-31T19:03:17","slug":"the-hidden-script-in-the-conan-casting-breakdown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/the-hidden-script-in-the-conan-casting-breakdown\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hidden Script Within the Conan “Casting Breakdown”"},"content":{"rendered":"

It has been pointed out to me that when I recently\u00a0commented upon\/railed against the “casting breakdown” for the upcoming Conan movie from Lionsgate<\/a>, I spent a lot of time looking at the various innovative and exciting\u00a0characters therein, but spent little time teasing out the fairly detailed synopsis which can be read between the lines.\u00a0So, with all disclaimers, I present below\u00a0what I\u00a0gleaned from\u00a0the myriad\u00a0hints in the “casting breakdown”\u00a0as far as the plot of the film (such as it is)\u00a0is concerned.<\/p>\n

As briefly as possible…<\/p>\n

Corin the Cimmerian wanders the world. He encounters Khalar Singh. They become “comrades.” Corin returns to Cimmeria. He becomes blacksmith-king of “the Cimmerians” and fathers Conan upon Islene.<\/p>\n

Islene dies on a battlefield, after giving birth to Conan.<\/p>\n

Conan becomes some sort of Cimmerian Michael Myers<\/a>. Corin “tames” Conan.<\/p>\n

Khalar shows up and wants help from Corin to find the “Lost Queen of Acheron” (Ilira). Corin refuses. Khalar and his “Aquilonian Mercenary Legion” attack. Corin and Conan throw Pretty-Boy Lucius (commander of the mercs; also known as “Lucky”)\u00a0into a forge-fire. Conan escapes. Khalar tortures\/kills Corin and exterminates the rest of “the Cimmerians.”<\/p>\n

Conan and former Cimmerian bully-boy, Artus (who somehow transforms into a “Zamorian”), have many thrilling adventures.<\/p>\n

Conan finally\u00a0remembers that he needs to avenge his father\/people. It is perhaps during this early point in his quest for\u00a0vengeance that he encounters Lucius again (and the “One-Eyed Thief”).<\/p>\n

About the same time, Khalar captures Ilira. Tamara, Ilira’s primary bodyguard (from the “Greek influenced monastery”), manages to elude the cruel clutches of Khalar.<\/p>\n

Tamara encounters Conan around this point. She is “not in the least intimidated” by the paramount warrior of the Hyborian Age. Since they both want to see Khalar dead, they join forces (something else may<\/em> “blossom” later).<\/p>\n

The twain journey to the city of “Khor Khala,” which is ruled by Khalar (where\u00a0Conan probably encounters, once again, the “One-Eyed Thief”). Conan then\u00a0engages in the now-traditional cinematic fight between himself and a black man (Ufaka). He might whip up on Fariq (Khalar’s son) and Remo (evil “shadow guy”) as well.<\/p>\n

Conan (with the help of the spunky Tamara) defeats Khalar and rescues Ilira. The world is saved, but Thoth-Amon lurks in the shadows (for the sequel).<\/p>\n

There is\u00a0even more garbage that I left out, like the large band of blind\u00a0(yet cunning! and deadly!) archers and Tamara’s time in the “Greek influenced monastery”. Honestly, I don’t see how they’ll be able to cram all this into one movie. Then again, who would want to?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It has been pointed out to me that when I recently\u00a0commented upon\/railed against the “casting breakdown” for the upcoming Conan movie from Lionsgate, I spent a lot of time looking at the various innovative and exciting\u00a0characters therein, but spent little time teasing out the fairly detailed synopsis which can be read between the lines.\u00a0So, with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31,26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-film-and-reh","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6849","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6849"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6849\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6851,"href":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6849\/revisions\/6851"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/leogrin.com\/CimmerianBlog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}