Okay, the success of Happy Feet (which edged out the most Flemingesque Bond film since On Her Majesty’s Secret Service to be the #1 movie last weekend) following the 2005 March of the Penguins phenomenon moves me to protest this current status as the feel-good flightless fowl of the 21st century. Enough with the cutesification; where are the weird fiction penguins? Where are the mutant penguins, the albino penguins, the birds who can intimidate leopard seals and feral Shoggoths or freeze Miskatonic expeditions in their tracks with a single well-timed “Tekeli-li!”

Give us penguins Who Know Too Much (consult Chaosium’s 1996 The Antarktos Cycle for details), red-eyed and raucous-voiced witnesses to the cosmic tragedies and iniquities that have unfolded on the austral icecap for the last few million years. Children of all ages need nightmares and today’s animators just aren’t getting the job done.